


No one's pearl

by GreyKittyCat



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, Found Family, Gen, Growth, Mild Spoilers, Past Pearl/Rose Quartz (Steven Universe), Past Relationship(s), Pre-Relationship, a brief moment of introspection, its pre pearlmethyst and post pearlrose, only pre pearlmethyst because ame doesnt realize pearl loves her too, sort of hinted at
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2019-05-14 23:24:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14779268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreyKittyCat/pseuds/GreyKittyCat
Summary: Pearl has a moment of insight while on a beach trip with Steven and Amethyst.





	No one's pearl

**Author's Note:**

> I actually wrote this one years ago, but I think it applies even better now, so I'm posting it halfway out of pure shock that I was right. A few references to "A single pale rose" in here, but honestly, if you haven't seen it, you might not even notice, so I'm not sure this is even really spoilers. The pearlrose in here is also 100% over, so I'd imagine it's fine for people who don't care much for the ship, too.

“Pearl, come on!!” Steven called out from the doorway, eager as always.

“Yeah, Pea! Hurry up!” Amethyst joined him with her own cajoling.

Pearl finished tucking a few bottles of water into her new beach bag with a little sigh, and walked out of the doorway that amethyst was holding open for her with a gallant, overdone bow.

It was a perfect day for a swim, Pearl had to admit as she appraised the temperature and humidity of the air. She watched as Amethyst and Steven ran ahead and play-fought in the water, surprised that she was not as worried about Steven as she thought she’d be. He was growing daily, so fast that it amazed her just as often. And, she had to admit, Amethyst could still be reckless, but she had grown much more trustworthy to be careful with Steven over these few years. That they'd both learned about her- all of her, even the thing she'd been forbidden to say for so long, and yet they were still here by the water as always, was a testament to that that was too large for her to really process, yet. She suspects they may have brought her out today at least partly for that reason.  
Still, she was vigilant. One never knew what was in the ocean that could sting, bite or otherwise cause harm. Pearl unfolded her towel, and folded her legs beneath her.

And what a few years they’d been. It seemed like just yesterday that she was on this beach with… Rose. That it had been so little time, and so much change, and still the ocean seemed the same. Unbidden, her mind recalled an image of the laughing face of Rose, before Quartz, long ago. _Oh, my pearl, always so worried over me._

_Oh, my rose- that's my job._

Pearl looked at her hands, clasped together on top of her knees.

My Pearl.

Now, she didn’t belong to anybody.

Once, the thought of being ownerless would have made her stomach cold with horror. Once, the reality of it had nearly destroyed her. But watching Steven laugh as a woman who would never, ever, own anybody swung him around in strong, soft arms and tossed him into an oncoming wave, that fear seemed a strange and far off idea, like an imagined face, or faces, glimpsed for a second in the pastel clouds drifting overhead.

Pearl was startled by the revelation, but no matter how she tried she could not bring herself to feel the old and familiar horror.  
At some point, without her realizing, everything must have changed.

The dread of being ownerless, the feeling of unendurable loss after Rose’s death that made her feel far too light and directionless, like a ballerina in a music box with the gears removed, all her tethers cut and floating, limbless- It all had, somewhere, faded.

Her attempts to follow the orders of a woman who no longer existed had, somehow, finally all fallen away. Without even noticing, she had melted her way slowly through layers of panic, and grief, and resentment, and come through to the other side- to something else entirely new. She had changed, through some miracle, until not even the memory of that someone she had lived for, been alive for, owned her anymore.

For the first time in her long existence, Pearl was entirely her own.

She was not a toy, tool, nor soldier, carrying another’s things, a heavy war and then later, (even heavier) memories on her bowed shoulders. She was a person, all alone.  She was a pearl, yes, but on this planet she had fought for she was more of a person, to whom the word Pearl was just a name. She was this to all of the humans she interacted with, and that more and more frequently as Steven brought her with him into the world of the living. She was this way to Steven. She supposed, despite her academic knowledge of how gems are, she was this way to Amethyst, really. A woman, all on her own.

Amethyst didn’t even know her serial codes, her facet level.  
She’d never asked.

A woman, named Pearl.

She didn’t belong to anybody, anymore.

 

 

And it was wonderful.

Pearl stood up. If she went over to where Steven and Amethyst were having their water fight right now, they would no doubt ambush her, and she would end up tackled into the ocean with them. Her dress- a real dress, made of linen- would get soaked, dirty, possibly ruined- but she found she didn’t mind in the slightest.

No one would mind. No one here would be angry if she got dirty; there would be no punishment from anyone, even if she did ruin it. She could wash it afterwards, throw it out- whatever she wanted. The dress didn’t belong to anyone but her, after all.

And anyway,  
what else is family for?

 

If there were faces swirling in the clouds above, they went unnoticed. Memories of love, and ownership, and pain, were the past, and changed nothing about the sand that shifted too under her feet as she set down the beach bag that Greg had given her onto the towel that she hadn't asked Garnet the origin of. She had changed- been changed, but the waves hadn’t stopped lapping at the shore.

 

Pearl started running towards the Ocean.


End file.
